Heroes Are Not the Answer

A few weeks back, when Simone Biles made the landmark decision to withdraw from events at the Olympic games to focus on her physical and mental health, my phone quickly became abuzz with people asking how I felt about the development.

The assumption was that as an entrepreneur and coach who aims to highlight the link between wellness and performance, that I’d be applauding the move. Truth is, however, that the incident – and the ensuing public outcry of praise and support – left me rather concerned.  

It also left me with more questions than answers, particularly one very pressing one: 

HOW do we teach someone to properly address the symptoms of burnout when they don’t have the option of “withdrawing” from life? When there are bills to be paid, children to mind, parents to care for, there is no pause button. Quite the contrary, those carrying the heaviest loads typically don’t have the option to sit this one out. 

So while we’re quick to celebrate a decision to step away, I’m wondering why we’re not discussing how the need to do so could have – and should have – been avoided in the first place. If we truly want to address the symptoms – and the damage they cause – why aren’t we getting to the source?

Oh, because this is America. The home of extremes that require equally extreme tactics to balance them out.

So HOW do we teach people to differentiate? To decipher between the need for the savvy “mental health day” to when your situation requires more? How do we teach our children the whens and whys of pushing through versus walking off the court?

Our conversation around mental health in this country haphazardly throws around terms like “boundaries” and “self care” without providing any tangible context as to what this means, let alone how the non-Olympians among us can actually implement these strategies into our lives. It’s no different than how we address nutrition by telling people to “eat clean,” yet we host an obesity epidemic unlike any other.

Coincidence? I think not.

If we really, truly, deeply are going to get serious about mental health – beyond just patting ourselves on the back for a dialogue that is literally decades overdue – we have to move beyond hashtags and influencers letting us know it’s ok to not be ok. We have to activate our emergency response and provide tactical, practical advice that leads to relief.

We have to teach people how to spot and stop the warning signs, before the real problems really start.

This is, of course, a herculean task. It requires the mobilizing of many forces – from businesses like mine to mental health professionals to government agencies – to communicate and provide in an effective manner.

But above all it requires a refusal to stop glorifying the crash-and-burn, to stop calling the GOATs role models, when there is nothing about their lives that model our own.

Because it is the parents, bosses, and coaches among us that the kids, employees and athletes are really looking to. The truth is that the concept of a role model – the ones who have the legitimate power to make a difference – really hits much closer to home.

So we not only need to do better but we must, because we, as a country, need to realize we have a legacy at stake.

Not one of gold medals.

But for generations to come.