It’s been the rally cry of the successful. And for those – such as myself – who coach others to be so:
Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Implied here is that tangible change and development requires that you must take chances.
Sacrifice.
Work hard.
And then, just when you think you can’t anymore, work harder.
Harder than anyone else.
Discomfort is, after all, brave. It is assumed that not everyone can handle it. Therefore, it is logical that this has evolved to a glorified state where people wear their discomfort with silent pride.
Hey, I may be broken, but I’m carrying more burden than you.
The irony here is palpable. Because in this state – the one where true comfort doesn’t exist – there is no growth. No progress. No improvement.
There’s only survival. At best.
The pandemic has been the perfect case study for this, although we’re so filled with exhaustion, anger and resentment that we cannot see just how stuck we’ve become by being out of our comfort zones for so long.
That we’ve become paranoid about sitting on the couch although we long to do so, because the kids have fallen so behind in school, look at all the weight we’ve gained, the money we’ve blown through…what will we ever do?
So we spin. We mistakenly think that more is the answer when what our psyches really need is comfort. The kind that comes from long hot showers, reading in the rain, belly laughs with good friends and sleep.
Just straight up uninterrupted slumber.
Problem is, we don’t trust this approach. We’ve been so wired to believe that the weight we bear is directly proportionate to the reward we receive that we’ve reached a point where we’re literally uncomfortable with being comfortable.
Please. Read that again.
Like touching a red hot stove with our bare hand repeatedly, we’ve gotten so burned, so calloused, that we’ve forgotten how much it all hurts in the first place.
And we’ve completely underestimated and undermined the time that is required to heal.
So, at this point, I’d like to say that for most of us, growth will actually come if we can find the courage to regulate ourselves to our comfort zones.
The ones that nourish us, that allow the space required to hear what we’re really thinking.
To acknowledge, with true humility, how we really feel.
