Dear Searching for Love,
Let me start by saying that you might have just written the best damn personal ad ever. I mean, do I have your permission to share your contact details if anyone asks “who IS that person? I want to meet them”?
Kidding, not kidding. Because anyone would be lucky to have the opportunity to let their guard down with you.
See the problem is, Searching for Love, that you have substance. And you have it in a world that is seriously lacking it and is revolving around surface-level interactions. We don’t have real conversation with each other anymore, so having it with oneself is a lost art.
Add to this that we have been conditioned to fill every ounce of our time with rather meaningless, inane tapping, scrolling and swiping, and you have a population of people who cannot sit still unless it’s to cultivate a “profile.”
As if the essence of a human “being” could be succinctly summarized in a few bullet points and head shots.
So here’s my two cents: Step away from the online dating. Get out and meet people. Interact with them. And the world. I know you’re busy and that a dating app makes establishing a connection easy, but that, quite frankly, is the crux of the problem. We’ve lost sight that real love takes work. Effort. Both with others and ourselves.
Because nowhere in the definition of love will you find the word convenient.
Truth is, there is no algorithm for finding your soul mate. And while success stories abound about online dating, there is no replacement for eye contact, first impressions and a feeling in your gut.
So step out from the screen and open your eyes around you to others who are willing to do the same.
The courage they’re demonstrating by doing so is your first hint at their capacity to be vulnerable.
And there’s no doubt that if they’re going to jive with you, then it’s a prerequisite that they be brave.