Dear So Far Gone and Frustrated,
Let’s start off by acknowledging that you are standing at the base of an impossibly tall mountain that you feel you have to climb. My first question, therefore, is why you want to take on this task in the first place. Because, my friend, it’s no coincidence that your real motive is not articulated in your letter.
You mention weight loss but I’m going to push back at that because, well, it’s generic. Losing weight is always a bridge for bigger and better things (i.e. having more energy, looking kickass in some new clothes, etc.), so first and foremost, when it comes to the goal you’ve set for yourself, let me say that you can do better.
Because if “weight loss” is going to be the pot you’re watching I can bet you right now that it will never boil. Every step you force yourself to take, every bead of sweat you manufacture will just serve as a reminder that you aren’t who you used to be, so why – dear God – even bother?
But here’s the thing: While there’s no doubt becoming a parent has fundamentally changed you in ways I can’t wait for you to have the courage to embrace, the old you – whoever she was – is, indeed, still in you.
And you need desperately to reacquaint yourself with that stranger.
See the problem is that you’ve been detached from her for so damn long that you’ve forgotten just how incredible she’s used to feeling. That she would be standing next to the current you at the base of that mountain and say “what the hell are you waiting for?”
“Let’s get going.”
So stop pretending like she doesn’t exist and let her speak to you. Loudly. Ask yourself what she would think/say/do and follow her guidance. Even if (well, especially if) the new you is scared to do so.
Because what she wants you to know is that while you certainly have your work cut out for you on this journey, there’s only one thing you can bank on:
And that is that if you opt to “curl up” at the base of the mountain you will never know what it feels like to have your breath taken away from the beautiful view from its top.
So take the first step.
And then another.
And perhaps along the way you’ll realize this was never really about weight at all. #notetoself