Losing the Known

Fitness is transformative.  It has the power to take someone’s life and convert it to a boundless, fulfilling version of its previous, limited self.  It involves a process that requires giving and taking, of having trust and silencing doubts.

Yet one of the most overlooked aspects of evolving into someone new is that doing so entails the mourning of a corresponding loss.  There are farewells that must be bid to old habits, doors shut on patterns that once gave rhythm to days.  The known safety of the cushion of excuses becomes dismantled, as vulnerability and the uncertainty of the unknown settle into their place.

It matters little, of course, if these tendencies were destructive.  Because what matters much is that they were tied to self worth.  When something serves as a thread in our coat of identity, having to say goodbye to it – be it by force or by choice – results in a feeling of helplessness. We find ourselves asking how we move on when we’ll be missing a part of that from which we’ve come.

But we won’t.  Even in loss we will not be without that thread ever and always, as its legacy and the lessons it imparted are often directly responsible for holding together our coat.  It’s precisely what gives us the strength to find potential in new possibilities.  To acknowledge we’re better equipped to handle the uncertainty because of what we’ve known.

It’s why in loss there is intrinsically always a new beginning.  One that we may have been striving for or that blindsided us when the universe delivered it with an unexplainable blow.  While it may not make the pain or fear of leaving the comfortable less deafening, it does present a new type of security.  A guarantee that the options are plentiful once we decide where we want to go.

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